Thursday, September 20, 2007

Marketing and a big "Fuck You" to Windows Vista

I was watching a commercial for The Sarah Silverman Program the other day and was nothing short of flabbergasted when I heard it say this...

"Catch The Sarah Silverman Program, right after South Park!"

AFTER fucking South Park?! I mean, does Comedy Central know ANYTHING about marketing? South Park (as you may know) is Comedy Central's highest rated program ever. So wouldn't make a lot more sense to put one of it's lower rated shows BEFORE such a highly rated show?

But on the other side of the "Marketing Rainbow" I absolutely HAVE to give Kudos to Wrigley's. As you probably know, Wrigley's just released a "new" gum (5 Gum). Now, I've bought and tasted this so-called "new" product side-by-side with regular Wrigley's gum (yes, the VERY same flavor) and as I expected they were EXACTLY THE SAME!

But enough with that Andy Rooney bullshit I've bigger fish to fry.

-------A BIG FUCK YOU TO WINDOWS VISTA-------

I was walking around town with my "hetero lifepartner" Cory and he says to me "You should really upgrade to Vista" and it got me kinda pissed and made me think "Why the Hell should I have to upgrade to Vista? XP should upgrade to ME".

I mean getting Vista is like getting a steel toenail. Inconvenient installation, Has minimal convenience, is quite similar to the original.

And THAT was A BIG FUCK YOU TO WINDOWS VISTA.

I'm gonna go get some fucking sleep.

Oh and to go out on, I was gonna show you my new banner:


TALES OF MODERATE INTEREST

Good Night.

-- Rani.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Dudes I'd Go Gay For Vol. 1 AND Sci-Fi

You know you want me...

Look at him and tell me he is not attractive. I'm a straight man and have led a (semi) hetero life. But I would let Paul Rudd intrude my anus.

But Anyways, Moving On...

I was watching Sci-Fi ALL day last Friday. Great day to be tuned in by the way. They had a Roswell marathon ALL day that morning. And then later, the ULTIMATE Sci-Fi show... DOCTOR MOTHERFUCKING WHO!

But first let's talk about Roswell. Roswell (as you probably already know) Is a teenage sci-fi melodrama (Or Degrassi meets The X-Files).

Wikipedia states:
"Roswell is a sci-fi series created by Jason Katims. The series ran between October 1999 and May 2002. Described by one reviewer as "a star-crossed teen-age love story with an otherworldly twist" (Roberts, Associated Press, September 29, 1999), the series focused on teenaged aliens hiding in plain sight as humans in Roswell, New Mexico. The aliens are survivors of the 1947 UFO crash popularly known as The Roswell Incident. The love story comes into play when Max Evans (an alien), played by Jason Behr, and Liz Parker (a human), played by Shiri Appleby, fall in love.

The series pilot was based on the Roswell High young adult book series, written by Laura J. Burns and Melinda Metz and published by Pocket Books. In some countries, the TV series aired under the Roswell High title."

Now let's talk about WHY it was so great...

Roswell was great for one core reason...
KATHERINE FUCKING HEIGL. I mean sure it was innovative and creative But, would anyone really tune in if it wasn't for the smoking hotness of Katherine Heigl? I know you didn't ask but...
I give it 4 out of 5 stars. I give it 4 because let's be honest it was on the WB and it wouldn't have hurt for a *cough*topless scene*cough**cough* couple better writers.

On to Doctor Who...

The ten faces of the Doctor. Clockwise from top-left: William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant.


I have to say my favorite (favourite) "Doctor" so far is David Tennant. He just has an I dunno foreboding warmth to him that seemed to have lacked in the other Time Masters.

I hadn't seen it in awhile on that night, but when I tuned in I was very delighted to the episode entitled simply "Blink".

Wikipedia states (Yes, I know I can't do anything without Ol' Wiki):

"The episode, set mainly in 2007, focuses upon Sally Sparrow, who breaks into a dilapidated house called Wester Drumlins to take photographs. There she discovers behind the peeling wallpaper a message from "the Doctor" dated 1969, calling her by name and telling her to "beware the Weeping Angels" and then to "duck now", just before an object launched from behind nearly hits her.

She returns the next day with her friend, Kathy Nightingale. A man soon arrives at the door with a decades-old letter from his grandmother, saying he had promised to deliver it to Sally on this date at exactly this time. The name of his grandmother was Kathy Nightingale. Thinking this is a prank, she searches for Kathy, who has just disappeared. Sally encounters three Weeping Angel statues, one holding a Yale key. She takes the key and leaves the house, unaware that the Angels have moved and are watching her from the windows.

Sally reads the letter, wherein Kathy explains that the Weeping Angels transported her back to 1920. The letter asks Sally to explain her absence to her last close relative — Kathy's brother Larry, who runs a store that sells rare DVDs. Larry has also discovered a message from the Doctor, which features him carrying on half of an unfathomable conversation, as an easter egg hidden on seventeen unrelated DVDs. Larry gives Sally a list of the DVDs that have the Doctor on them.

Sally goes to the police, where a Detective Inspector, Billy Shipton, shows her a car park full of abandoned vehicles found at Wester Drumlins, including a fake police box with a Yale lock that cannot be opened. Billy then begins to flirt with Sally, asking her to have a drink with him. She laughs, gives him her telephone number and leaves. Outside, Sally realises that the Yale key could be used to open the police box while inside, Billy is transported by the Weeping Angels to 1969. The Doctor finds him and asks him to deliver a message to Sally once he lives his way back to the present: that she should check the list of DVDs. Stuck in the past, Billy goes into the video business and reveals to Sally that he was responsible for adding the easter eggs. In 2007, Billy calls Sally and she meets him in a hospital. He is now an old man, although he still loves her. He gives her the Doctor's message and she stays with him until he dies shortly after.

After realising that the list exactly matches her own DVD collection, Sally and Larry enter Wester Drumlins, and watch the Doctor's message on a DVD. This time Sally provides the other half of the conversation, which Larry adds to a transcript he brought with him. The Doctor explains several things: he has a complete transcript of the incomplete conversation, which is possible due to the non-linear nature of time; and that the Weeping Angels are "quantum locked", meaning they turn to stone when observed, but when unobserved they are fast and can be deadly, hence it is of utmost importance that she does not blink. He also tells them that the Weeping Angels feed off of time by teleporting people to the past where they "live to death" and then feed off of the time the victims could have had. They stole the TARDIS from The Doctor and Martha to feed off of all of the time energy in it.

While trying to escape from an Angel in the room they are watching the DVD in, Larry and Sally discover the TARDIS in the cellar. Unwilling to let their prey escape, the Angels cause a light bulb, the room's only light source, to flicker, allowing them to draw closer to the TARDIS. Larry and Sally manage to get into the TARDIS and shut the doors, just as the Angels manage to surround it. The DVD that Larry and Sally brought with them activates a protocol in the TARDIS, causing it to return to the Doctor. Sally and Larry are left behind, leaving the Angels trapped forever in a circle, tricked into observing each other.

The final scene takes place a year later, with Sally and Larry running the DVD store together. The Doctor and Martha emerge from a taxi outside the shop, armed with bows and arrows, apparently in pursuit of an unidentified monster. When the Doctor fails to recognize Sally, she realizes he has not yet experienced the episode's events (causing an ontological paradox), so Sally gives the transcript and list of DVDs to the Doctor. Sally, Larry and the Doctor exchange goodbyes. The episode ends with a repeat of the Doctor's warning to Sally, this time directed at the viewer, overlaid with flashes of famous bronze and stone statues."

Wow, that was long... ha.

As you can tell I was fucking riveted. So much so where I felt the need to blog it.

Anyways, that's all I have time for this week.

Later,
Rani (pronounce Raw-Knee)

THE END

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Ho-ly Shit

Yes, sir that's Ho-ly shit because in this blog there are alotta ho's a couple of ly's and there are a shit load of things that YOU need to know.
First things first, well second, there is a photo I found circulating the intraweb. Of Morgan Webb... without a top... need I say more? If I do you're either gay or a straight girl. Or maybe you're just a fan of Orangutans. It was on Boogie's Blog - A Porn Blog. And no, I'm not giving you a direct link you perverts. But after some INTENSE "investigation" I have come to this conclusion it's fake. But, I still feel the need to "investigate" more. I'll give you the update.
And now for the techy info... I was recently watching X-Play and was watching their review on the new Pac-Man for X-Box 360. So far it looks pretty cool. It has tons of new features without straying very far away from the original game plot.

Here are just a few:

1.) It has a shit-load more mazes (and no kill screen)
2.) Whenever you are about halfway through the level. The maze FREAKIN' CHANGES! I know, right?
3.) Of Course, the graphics are signifigantly better but, nothing special.

Anyways, moving on... Sony has just announced the re-release of the Walkman. Only on a different medium. No longer will it be playing pesky CD's it has USB Mass Storage capabilities which means yes, mp3's. I know, I know nothing special right? Wrong. It has tons more features than most mp3 players but, all of it's features have been seen before. Nothing special, but still pretty cool

And finally, in complete and utter randomness, Code Monkeys is awesome and the best game on Earth is Tony Hawk's Underground 2.


THE END